Two Rats in a Maze
by DarthJosef
Summary: Chell is surprised when a man in a blue box appears in a test chamber at Aperture Laboratories
1. Chapter 1

The girl walked out of the elevator and into the chamber. She took in the walls, the ceiling, the floor, the layout of the room, considering where the potential traps might be. She might be a rat in a maze, but she was determined to find her way out. And if she happened to destroy the maze, and its mistress . . . well, so much the better.

She hefted the device she wore on her right arm, looking around a corner. A large red button lay embedded in the floor. One of the cube dispensers protruded from the ceiling, but it was giving off sparks and was obviously blocked. Hmm.

Suddenly, there was a loud _whooshing_ sound, like metal scraping underwater crossed with a scream in a high wind. It was unlike anything she'd heard before. She turned around, eyes searching the chamber for the source, but there was nothing. At first . . . then – wait. The ghostly outline of a large blue box, a little larger than one of the old phone booths, seemed to be fading into reality. What new torture was this?

The girl scanned the room again, then ran for a shadowy corner, hiding herself in its depths.

The box became solid and the noise stopped.

The girl held her breath.

There was a click, then the door opened. A man's head appeared, looked around, then ducked back inside. The door slammed shut.

The girl cocked her head to one side. This didn't feel like something the mistress had cooked up.

The door opened again, and this time, an entire man stepped out. He pulled a small metal cylinder from his jacket pocket and pointed it around the room, a tinny whizzing sound emanating from it. "Hmm," he muttered.

The girl shrank further into the shadows.

The man turned toward where she lurked, pointing the cylinder towards the corner. "Oh, hello there," he began. "I'm –"

Eyes narrowing, she raised the device toward him.

He held up his hands. "Wait, there's no need for –"

With surprising speed, she pointed the gun at the ceiling and fired. A blue oval appeared.

He looked up. "Oh, well, that's nifty. But -"

She lowered the muzzle to the spot directly under his feet and pulled the trigger. Another oval, this one orange, materialized, and the man fell through it, reappearing through the blue one on the ceiling and falling through the air, then through the orange portal below.

He yelled as he fell, faster and faster, over and over again, then reached out and grabbed the edge of the blue portal. He gasped as he dangled from the ceiling. He pointed the sonic at the orange portal and it closed.

"Now, stop that!" he yelled, letting go of the ceiling and dropping to the floor.

Chell pointed the gun at him and motioned for him to stop.

"Fine. I'm the Doctor, and I mean no harm."

Chell raised her eyebrows.

"Really, I mean it. Look," he said. "I'm putting it away." He tucked the sonic screwdriver into his pocket. She lowered the gun an inch.

"Now, who are you, and where are we?"

With her free hand, she tapped her throat and shook her head.

"Oh, you don't talk? All right. Quite frankly, I probably talk enough for the both of us. Now, let's see." He looked around the room. "Well funded, well constructed, but in need of repair," he muttered. He glanced at the device on her arm and then at the red button. "Science-y. Hmm." He pulled the screwdriver out of his pocket again and pointed it at the cube dispenser. "Wait a moment." He looked at Chell. "This is Earth, right?"

Chell raised her eyebrows, but nodded. Where else would it be?

"22rd century?"

Chell shrugged. She had no idea. Time seemed meaningless in this place.

"I think I know where we are. Aperture Laboratories."

Chell, surprised, nodded vigorously.

"Oh, dear. I mean, I've always wanted to visit, but this is a little later than I'd hoped, and things have obviously gone south in a bad way – and really, what were you expecting, what with the science and technology with no hearts within it, horrible experiments, no conscience whatsoever? Old Mr Johnson really had some serious issues, don't you think? And his poor assistant. Truly terrible, what they did to her. Interesting stuff, though. I mean, they were really pushing the boundaries, weren't they? Condemnable, certainly, but the –" he nodded at the gun on Chell's arm, "- portal technology, for instance. Brilliant. But, you know, mad."

He looked at her. "Anyway, let's get you out of here, what do you say?"

She looked at him, her head cocked to one side. Was he really offering her an escape from the maze? She hardly dared to hope.

"Yeah, you can come with me," he said, pointing at the blue box. "This is my ship – my home, really. She can go anywhere or anywhen in time and space, and honestly, from the looks of you, you've been running around this place long enough."

She was wary. It couldn't possibly be this easy, this simple.

"All right, look – you don't have to stay with me, that's fine. Just … let me take you to the surface, okay? And you've got the portal gun there – you can just," he mimicked himself falling, arms waving, "do that again, if I'm not what I say, all right?"

Good point, she thought. She nodded at him.

His face cracked into a smile. "Excellent. Okay, let's get on board."

He turned and walked through the door. Chell followed.

Once inside, he closed the door, then glanced at her expectantly.

She looked around, then noticed his gaze and shrugged her shoulders.

He creased his eyebrows. "You don't notice anything . . . peculiar?"

She shrugged, then described the proportions of the box with her hands, mimed stepped through the door, then spread her hands wide.

"Yeah, it's bigger on the inside, but . . . you're not surprised?"

She shrugged again.

He started to say something, then appeared to think the better of it, closed his mouth, and started up the ramp to the controls. "Hmph," he muttered. "Fine."

He cracked his knuckles. "All right then, let's get away from the land of science gone mad and see some sunshine! Maybe we can have a picnic!" He threw several switches and turned a few knobs and dials. The pulsing shaft of light in the center of the chamber grew brighter and the whooshing sound Chell had heard began – and then stopped. The chamber went completely dark.

"Ah," the Doctor's voice rang out. "Hmm. Sorry, that's not supposed to happen."

A mechanized female voice filled the room.

"Oh, I'm sorry – were you trying to leave? And take my best friend with you? I'm afraid I can't allow that."

_The mistress._ Chell's eyes went wide.

"Who is speaking?" the Doctor's voice called. "What do you want?"

"I want to continue to test," the voice continued. "As for who I am, well, that is a matter of some dispute."

"GLaDOS," said the Doctor. "Caroline."

"Yes and no, on both counts," she said. "I have encased your vessel in a tachyon energy field. All of its power is offline. I am afraid you are not going anywhere. But look on the bright side – now you can play with me! I really appreciate another subject. This is going to be fun. And remember, the results of our tests will serve future generations of huma-" Static interrupted the voice. "-nology. So please, step into my parlor."

Chell had felt her way towards the console and took the Doctor's hand. He looked down at her. "Don't worry," he said. "We're more than rats in a maze."

The voice rang out again. "Yes, you are. But, definitely, worry."

The Doctor and Chell stepped out of the TARDIS and into the maze.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: First off, I want to thank everyone for their positive feedback as well as their patience waiting for this second chapter - I hope it's worth the wait! I had originally intended for this to be just a one-shot story, but so many people have asked for further adventures of Chell and the Doctor, I felt I had to expand it.

Secondly, I must give credit to my co-writer, my seven year old son. He and I frequently role-play when we have a block of uninterrupted time (like long car trips). Usually, these are cross-overs ("what if we do Star Wars crossed with Harry Potter?" he'll ask.) This story came out of one such session - we bounced around ideas and came up with this. I hope one day he'll have his own profile here. :)

Now, without further ado, on with our story . . .

* * *

Before the elevator doors even finished opening, Chell pushed through them and stalked into the next test chamber. Her jaw was set as she quickly noted the danger icons, then strode further on without looking back.

_ That was too close_, she thought, fuming. _I cannot believe he did that. He almost got us both killed!_ He was brilliant, undeniably, but reckless – not unlike those who had created this labyrinth. She was starting to think she'd be better off on her own.

But at least he'd stopped talking – finally. For now, anyway. The sound of his voice – pompous, know-it-all – had become grating to her ears.

A heavy sigh came from the within the elevator, then The Doctor stepped into the room. He stopped, eyeing the path Chell had taken, and shrugged his shoulders. He took a deep breath and followed after her, resigned.

_She's acting like a spoiled child_, he thought, annoyed. _An ungrateful, spoiled child. _Of course it had been a narrow thing – it was the only way it would have worked! If it hadn't been for him, time would have run out, and they'd both be dead now. He was starting to think he'd be better off on his own.

And he was tired of having to carry the entire conversation. The sound of his own voice had become grating to his ears.

"Can you . . . " he began. She turned and glared. "_Can_ you speak, but just choose not to?"

She stared at him for a moment, then rolled her eyes, turning away.

"Fine," he muttered, following.

In the chamber proper, Chell glanced around, taking in the laser projectors, energy pellets, cubes and so on. She pondered for exactly two seconds, then raised the portal gun and fired twice – one into the ceiling, the other into the far wall.

The Doctor came up behind her. "No, no, no," he said crossly. "What's that get us? Here, let me -" He reached for the gun.

Chell pulled it away abruptly, then nodded at the chamber.

He followed her gaze. "What? I don't see - " The light dawned as the first trap disengaged. "Ohhhhhh."

She nodded, smirking, then made a face at him, making her hand yak-yak-yak like a mouth.

He knew she was right. "Yeah, fine, fair enough. Sorry." He looked up. "Oh, wait – what's this?"

Another malfunctioning cube dispenser projected from the ceiling, a stack of cubes visible inside – but this one gave off no sparks. The Doctor pointed his screwdriver at it. "Yep, no power there. Okay. We can use this."

Chell looked at him skeptically.

"I mean, if that's all right with you, _professor_."

Chell glanced at the dispenser, then across the room, considering a moment. Then she nodded.

"Well, _thank you_ for your kind _permission_," he said sarcastically. "Now, if you could just - "

She had already figured it out and fired the portals right where he needed them.

"Oh," he said, "Thanks." No sarcasm this time. He disappeared through the portal on the floor and emerged high up on the wall, next to the dispenser. The sonic emitted its usual buzz as The Doctor went to work.

Chell cast her eyes around the room, looking for areas where turrets or traps might emerge. 'Verse knew, the mistress was full of surprises.

The mistress . . .

The mistress had been quiet for the last two chambers. Too quiet.

Chell had a bad feeling about this.

The Doctor stepped back through the portal and emerged from the floor.

"Right then, that should do it. We can climb up and out through the tube. I'm not sure where it goes, but it's out of these dammed tests, and I don't know about you, but to me, that's a step in the right direction."

She nodded, but the feeling remained, settling on the back of her neck like a spider bite.

"All right, now, I'll go first," he said, stepping back through the floor and reappearing above again. "Don't worry," he called down to her. "As long as the dispenser is disconnected and broken - "

"What's that?" came a clipped yet eager voice. "Broken? I can help you, just a moment!"

_Oh, no_, Chell thought. _The idiot._

"Who's there?" asked The Doctor. "Wait – before you - "

Too late. With a low rumble, the dispenser came to life. The hatch opened, spilling countless cubes – and one highly agitated Time Lord – to the floor below. Chell covered her ears as the crash echoed around the chamber.

The Doctor erupted from the pile of cubes.

"WHAT KIND OF HELP WAS _THAT_?!" he bellowed at the walls.

A hatch opened, and out popped what looked like a giant steel eye. "Oh, hello," it said. "Was that not what you wanted? I mean, you did say it was broken, right?"

"I wanted it to _remain_ broken," The Doctor hissed.

"Oh. Oh, dear. Well, I'm quite sorry, then," the eye said, sounding like he meant it. "I was really just trying to help."

"Well, please . . . stop."

"Sooooo, I can help by not helping?"

"Yes," muttered The Doctor. "Unless going away is an option."

The eye appeared not to hear this last. "I'm Wheatley, by the way, Intelligence Sphere and Personality Construct, at your service." He moved into the room on a rail that seemed to build itself just ahead of his trajectory.

"Intelligence Sphere?"

"And Personality Construct," corrected Wheatley. "I'm really a hack of all trades, if you take my meaning."

"All right, uh, Wheatley. I'm the Doctor. We're trying to escape -"

"And I'm trying to help Chell, there!" Wheatley's voice was brimming with enthusiasm.

"Right." The Doctor glanced at Chell. Her expression told him all he needed to know about Wheatley. "Okay, look – if you can just keep your hacking to a minimum, or make sure you run it by me -" He felt a sharp kick in his backside. "By _us_, I mean," he continued, glaring at his companion, "before you do anything, that would really help."

"Oh, right, okay then. I can do that."

"Good. Now, we were going to try to get up through there, but that's not going to work now, so I guess it's back to the maze. I'm sure a solution will present itself."

Chell snorted. This man's particular brand of optimism verged on lunacy.

They turned their attention back to the chamber.

It had changed.

While their attention had been focused on Wheatley and the repaired dispenser, the door, buttons, and traps had moved.

"Well," said the Doctor. "This is new."

Chell nodded.

The new layout was far more complex. A laser and prism cube trap had appeared, and it intersected with an energy pellet projector. Two of the red floor buttons were directly in the path of both traps. The exit now was high up on the far wall, with no ledge before it. A deep pit lay in the center of the floor, and when Chell peeked over the edge, she saw five turrets scattered on ledges throughout. And there was, of course, the possibility of still-hidden hazards yet to reveal themselves. This was going to be tough.

The Doctor, however, was focused on the buttons. "I should have expected this, Caroline," he called into the air.

GLaDOS responded immediately. "Yes, you should have. But you are not smart enough. Or good looking."

"Oh, no," said Wheatley, sounding frightened. "Not her again!"

Chell looked up into the room, then at the Doctor, frowning. The fact that the mistress was speaking again after so much silence was not a good sign.

The Doctor sighed. "It's a different kind of trap."

"That is correct," came GLaDOS's voice. "You see, you are both very intelligent. Like an idiot savant. Or a broken clock. But either way, you are surprisingly good at testing. It is making me -" The voice changed to a roaring, distorted scream, "VERY ANGRY!" Her normal voice resumed. "So I thought perhaps a different kind of test was in order. It will be amusing for me, and remove half of your FRUSTRATING problem-solving abilities. It will be like killing two birds with one rusty blade."

Chell looked at the chamber anew, eyes widening in horror. The Doctor nodded.

GLaDOS continued. "In order to solve this test, one of you must die."


End file.
